Personal vs. professional life
EVERY one has trouble keeping personal and professional lives apart. We are human beings after all, and it is but natural that our personal and professional halves merge into one whole, in spite of our best efforts and intentions. The real problem arises only when one half starts hampering the effective functioning of the other. For example, when things are not going too well on the professional front, our work suffers. Then it is time to stop and take notice. You have to make an all out attempt to compartmentalise and keep your personal and professional life apart for the sake of your own sanity and well-being. Else, you could end up losing both ways. A few tips to save both your skin and your sanity!
Be yourself
It is impossible for a person to change his personality and be one kind of person at home and a different one at the office; unless of course, he is putting on an act. Remember, people get wise to the act at one point of time or the other. Every one of us has been blessed with unique abilities and talents, so let us not waste time worrying because we are not like other people. It is important to be honest and truthful to yourself. It is even more important to be able to love and respect yourself for being you. Once you come across as an honest and straightforward person, people are likely to be more understanding and less interrogative. Your excuse of a hard day at work is more likely to be accepted by your wife if she perceives you as telling the truth, just as your boss would pass your request for leave `because granny is ill' with no comments, if he believes you are sincere.
Worrying and procrastination
Research into the subject indicates that a sizeable majority of the human population is afflicted with WWS. i.e., Worry Wart Syndrome. Worrying produces unnecessary tensions and nervous fatigue. Dale Carnagie, author of `How to enjoy your life and your job,' points out how good, down to earth and sensible people who wouldn't dream of wasting any money are often reckless about the energy they squander worrying and procrastinating. If you are the type who worries a lot, allot a specific amount of time, say an hour or ten minutes (depending upon the degree with which you are afflicted with WWS), and utilise it solely for the purpose of worrying. If you get any worrisome thoughts during work, firmly admonish them and say to yourself. `Hey! WWT (worry wart time) is not until 5.30 pm. That's still 4 hours away. I have got work to do. So go away, you worrisome thought and hide yourself till then!' You better do it under your breath, or behind that big green folder, unless you want your boss to give you strange looks. Or if your intention is to get the day off, repeat the same exercise, in a voice that is a couple of decibels higher than normal. In all probability, your boss will check your pulse, feel your temperature and give the rest of the day off! Then you can worry for the rest of the day!
Spot solution
People often make the mistake of putting off important decisions. When there are a multitude of problems, we tend to simultaneously dwell on all of them, worry about all of them, procrastinate about all of them but seldom make a decision, even on one of them. Take one problem at a time. Give priority to important and urgent problems. If you have the facts required to make a decision, don't put it off or procrastinate. Deal with it immediately, before you move to the next problem. That way, you don't carry your work problems home with you or vice-versa.
Personal problems
Discussing your personal problems with office colleagues is a firm no-no. It is akin to inviting disaster in both personal and professional life. It is advisable to have a friend circle outside the office, with whom you can discuss your personal problems. If you do have a trusted office colleague/ friend who you feel can help you out with your personal difficulties, always discuss personal matters with him outside the office. Discussing such problems during office hours or within the hearing of other office colleagues not only gives the impression that you are wasting office time, but such issues also become grist to the rumour mill.
Emotional maturity
EQ or the emotional quotient that determines how people react to a given situation plays an important role in ascertaining how well individuals are able to stay in control of both their personal and professional lives. One has to learn to be emotionally mature and not over react, to personal/ work situations and pressures. At work, understand that any criticism is probably not personal, but professional. You will be able to handle things better if you condition yourself to be professionally involved but emotionally detached, as far as your work is concerned. It is easier said than done though, if you happen to love your job; the trick is to identify yourself more with your profession and less with the company.
BINDU SRIDHAR
faqs@cnkonline.com
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