Cope Well With Conflict
THERE is a story in Dostovsky's `The Idiot' that goes like this. A man is sitting in a train compartment gazing at the serene Russian countryside. Two women enter the compartment. One of them is holding a dog in her arms. The women look at this man with disgust because he is smoking. Unable to bear it any longer, one of the women gets up, lifts up the window, takes the cigar off the man's lips and throws it out. The man sits there for a while, and then proceeds to re-open the window, grab the dog off the woman's lap and throw it out.
If this is how conflict is resolved in the workplace, then there is a serious problem waiting in the wings to erupt. All the psychological tensions among the staff pile up into a big mound, ultimately causing people to trip, fall and explode. The reason for this is the accumulation of tensions. Why should conflict and tension be allowed to pile-up in the first place? Why can they not be dealt with and swept away the moment they start littering the work environment?
There cannot and should not be a system where conflicts and disagreements do not arise. Such situations are necessary and energising for innovation and fresh perspectives to emerge. But when disagreement is poorly dealt with, the outcome is contention. This creates a sense of psychological distance between people; such as feelings of dislike, bitter antagonism, competition, alienation, and disregard. Such conflict caused by ego hassles, fear of failure, personal vendetta, lack of respect and intention of creating trouble is disruptive to the health of both employees and the organisation. It is an insidious cancer that can afflict the very functioning of the organisation. It needs to be pulled out from the root level so that it will not be able to rear its ugly head again. Negativity in the workplace affects even those who are not involved because in a war zone, no place is safe. Any place that is prone to stress and ego clashes can morph into a battleground.
People should learn to be sensitive to others, yet desensitise themselves. This would be the ideal form of dealing with each other. But, the reverse is usually true. We expect others to put up with us, while we rarely reciprocate in the same manner. Managing conflict requires a cool head, not people seeing red!
For starters, there needs to be a strong resolve, both on the part of management and employees, to end conflict.
Communication: This seems to be the key for solving a number of problems. It can iron out creases caused by assumptions, miscommunication, misunderstandings and presumptions. Open channels of communication like dialogue, clearly stating one's purpose, asking and answering questions and giving others a chance to voice their feelings can help avoid conflict at the outset. So, encourage communication sessions.
Listening: The other side of communication - listening - is equally important. Learn to listen because that's how major problems can be averted. Pay attention to who is saying what and why. Don't be occupied only with what you have to say.
Deal with it: Timely intervention is imperative. Bring the problem to the forefront and try resolving it by bringing the conflicting parties across the table, use mediators if necessary. No problem ever just dies away; it gets buried underneath and lurks in the subconscious realms only to assume greater and worse proportions.
Reward people who stand up: Recognise those brave hearts that have the courage to disagree with the direction of the group despite peer pressure. Such employees should be rewarded for preventing the organisation from doing something wrong.
Encourage healthy conflict: Putting an end to disagreements is unnatural and unhealthy. Ensure that everyone participates in a healthy debate where disagreements and dissent can be voiced without fear of ridicule. However, also keep an eye on people trying to create factions. Respect needs to be the underlying factor in all discussions and interactions.
Meet antagonists: Allow each person to briefly summarise their point of view, without any comment or interruption from the others. This should be an open and honest discussion so that all parties are clear about the disagreement and conflicting views. Intervene if either employee attacks the other.
Generate solutions: Ask the conflicting parties about the kind of steps and measures they'd like to see taken. Make them suggest and describe what actions they would like the other party to take that would resolve differences. They too have a point of view - give it the consideration it deserves. Examine your own actions and policies to see if there's cause for conflict in them.
Meaningful conflict is healthy. People openly disagreeing with one another and lobbying for different ideas reflects the healthy nature of an organisation.
SALMA ALIAKBAR
faqs@cnkonline.com
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