Crafty Clues for Career Blues
HELP! My daughter wants to be a plumber. All because the tap sprung a leak and a dandy plumber swung by - blue-eyed, blue jeans, and smiled at her. And with all the enthusiasm of a six year old, she quizzed him about his `profession' and was so taken in by it all - the pipes, the taps and the showerheads! (I suspect she is in love too, but that's beside the point). And I'm at my parenting-wits end! Someone please HELP! And years ago, my dad also screamed `HELP'! And probably stronger words followed when I stuck to my `ambition' firmly. But, hey I was hardly six, and I didn't even want to be a plumber. I wanted to be a vet! My dad refused to see eye to eye with me. Instead of which he asked me some really pointed questions, like, `Cant you think of a vocation where you don't have to be covered in cow dung? And the operative end, for all that!' And that did it! Steered my life away from hutches and barns! And since then, I've drifted aimlessly in search of my true calling!
What about you? Faced something similar? Wanted smart sneakers, but landed up with flip-flops? And wondering if you can configure an `undo' button for life? Or tearing you hair out about what to do with the degree-that-is-worth-its-weight-in-peanuts?
Ha! If you are, Your Career Aunt (you know, they have an `Aunt' for every Agony) is the person to crack the riddle for you, whether you are 6, 16 or 60. And, since Aunt is also the Editor of `The Bluebeard Business Review', the `Bible' for all Business Houses and B-Schools, it will be worth your while to lend her a ear (or both). A couple of strategically administered drops of turpentine into the auditory canal will help.
Auntie's Tenet No 1
Get your head examined. (By yourself - The shrink comes later)
Ask yourself all those difficult questions. (Not whether you can truly love
a-guy- who-snores or a girl who presses-the-toothpaste-in-the-middle). What are your `real' interests? What gives you genuine satisfaction? Do you, for instance pride yourself in the ability to be patient with a bunch of tots in their terrible twos, whose own mums are considering the delight of putting them up for adoption? Or are you a new-age-geek, and gizmos and gadgets are the only things you fancy? These soul-searches should help you realise where you would be happy. And then of course, whether you want to work full time, part time or all the time (and perdition to the family). With such introspection, there is a strong possibility you will find a customised career option!
Auntie's inside info - There are career-tests galore that will give you a fair idea of what's on and what's not for you. Though, if you want to save money, try free tests (which will give you an unfair idea). Or better still; ask a parrot to choose a card! A practice that is still followed in certain parts of the world but not highly recommended.
Auntie's Tenet No 2
Do not allow p(b)eer-pressure to ru(i)n your life!
You and your best friends preened yourselves about your `dexterity' and wanted your profession to exploit this trait to the hilt. So, what if your best friend became an obstetrician and has a fancy board saying `Gynaec! At your Cervix' and spends the rest of his life losing sleep over someone else's baby? You can still out-do her! Become a touch-typist! Hang a neon-board saying `Words@work'! And God knows - with the world veering towards tiny Laptops with minuscule keys - which most people with their stubby sausage fingers will find near-impossible to use - you will be in great demand!
Auntie's inside info - shortly you will be in the `Endangered And Extinct Professions' list of the U.N, and may even get huge tax-rebates!
Auntie's Tenet No 3
Your major is a minor issue!
Anybody can do anything! Well, almost, since a degree in zoology doesn't exactly qualify you to launch a satellite from Houston, you could still be a whole host of other things, which may not always involve the innards of the Rattus rattus. It may sound weird, but there are fashion technology graduates in call-centres, and pharmaceutical grads in the Bay Area, sipping the extract of Columbian beans while cracking `Java Beans' to earn their living. Skill sets can be picked up on the go and since several companies provide in-house training (in their own interest), you are unlikely to be skillessly marooned on the desert isle of joblessness.
Auntie's inside info - Do remember, in today's ever-changing marketplace scenario, your cutting-edge expertise maybe five-minutes stale, even before you emerge clutching your diploma, its ink still wet. Anyway, very few jobs are exact matches with the degree! So, learn on the job and learn well!
Auntie's Tenet No 4
Salary is secondary
Keeping with the `major is a minor' tenet, Aunty advises you not to be too picky about the salary, at least with the first job, where merely getting a foot in at the door is of paramount importance. Especially since you will be following your heart (not sweetheart, one hopes) please be ready for a small compromise to satiate the soul! And once you've been there and done that, you can start acting smart. Throw your weight around (and if you have sat around for a while, you are likely to have a lot to throw around) and play hard to get. But, till you are on the much-sought-after-list, give the penthouse-dream a miss!
Auntie's inside info - Don't forget to do your homework before your interview, and glean information about the prevailing salary structures in the industry. Don't sell yourself too short and if and when you starve, please don't drop in.
Auntie's Tenet No 5
An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
(And Auntie didn't write this. She stole it from Sir Issac)
Well, I mean that if we get into a rut we stay put there. And if we are doing something, however boring, we will continue doing it out of sheer complacence. Ergo, someone needs to stir us out of the stupor. You could go to bookstores and buy a lot of fancy books that promise to kick you where you deserve (Hey, how do they know?) But, if you don't have the dough to blow, ask - Friends (new, old, long-lost), parents, siblings, spouse, kids, colleagues and maybe even the Boss-wearing-Jackboots- and-carrying-a-whip thrown in for good measure.
Auntie's inside info -
All objects resist changes in their state of motion - they tend to "keep on doing what they're doing." (Issac again)
Auntie's Tenet No 6
If you are still confused and don't have the determination and willpower to follow what was previously said,
Start a teashop near your Alma mater - for old-times-sake!
Bake a batch of fortune cookies and hope you find your dream-career in the one you eat. (Hand of God?)
Join Auntie at the Bluebeard Business Review. (You're hired as long as you know Newton's Laws and don't accept money)
A. KATRIKAYAN
aa@cnkonline.com
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