Seven sutras to be a great facilitator
IN A PERFECT world, anyone who is going to run a group would have the chance to apprentice with an experienced support group facilitator. That would allow us to get our feet wet before jumping in. "A facilitator has a lot more knowledge than we realise. Let us go with his/her gut and he/she should not be afraid to be honest".
The skills and qualities for a facilitator may help us to value our strengths.
The following tips can improve the skills and attributes of a facilitator:
Be Authentic:
We can all instinctively tell if a person is putting on a show or being honest. Young people know if you are being real. If you can be authentic, acknowledge your mistakes, ups and downs, fears and joys, problems and success, you will be considered credible and trustworthy.
Being real means you get to be imperfect. You are entitled to make mistakes, not know all the answers, be occasionally angry, or have a bad day. You can have personal problems, complicated feelings, and decide when and how much of yourself to share. You get to be a group-member, and like everyone else in the group you can and should be held accountable for your behaviour.
An important message to all group members is that who are you, right now, is really great. That's a good message for facilitators too. Being authentic, imperfect, and self-accepting, as well as being very clear about your limits in working with young people, is a great combination of facilitator attributes.
Tolerate emotional intensity:
It is a gift to be able to experience a full emotional life. However, that capacity develops fully only when people are supported in experiencing the complete range of emotional options. It is very helpful if a facilitator can hang in there when group members are having strong feelings. To the degree that you can be comfortable with expressions of anger, joy, love and other emotions, your value to the group will be greatly enhanced.
Grow big ears:
"Big ears" are important for good facilitators. They imply the ability to be a good listener, a person who can be non-judgmental and comfortable with the long silences that are sometimes necessary while people figure things out. Having big ears mean you will be able to hear the unasked questions.
Be satisfied with small success:
People grow and change very slow. In the best of conditions, it can take a long time to feel safe enough and supported enough to try a new behaviour and risk failure or looking foolish. The facilitator, who can recognise this fact, preferably from personal experience, will have necessary empathy and patience to wait. Real patience often means celebrating the smallest hint of movement in a self-affirming direction.
Be consistent:
Your steady commitment supports the long- term success of the group. In a world where they have little power and someone else is making the rules, young people need stable, fair, and predictable adults. By being consistently affirming, supportive, and fair with all members of a group, you become worthy of trust and a reciprocal commitment.
Avoid personal agendas:
If a group perceives you as having a big agenda in mind for them, you will be lumped with all the other adults who want them to believe or behave a certain way. The quickest way to disqualify yourself as a trustworthy person is to have all the answers to their problems, know how they should behave, or make their decisions for them. Your job description is "help to" not "do to"; that is the reason you are called a "facilitator"!
Share power:
Each time you hold on to the power and control in the group when it is not necessary, you imply the group cannot manage its own experience. Sometimes you will need to exert control. But when you share power, you demonstrate your belief in the group's competence. The facilitator who is self-confident is able to share power without fear of loosing control. It can be stated that by being authentic, and tolerating emotional intensity with big ears entitles a facilitator enjoy even small success. By being consistent and avoiding personal agendas with a healthy practice to share power makes a facilitator really great!
DR. RATNA PUROHIT
faqs@cnkonline.com
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Opportunities
