Schooling your emotions

EMOTIONS define our choices in life. We are what we feel, think and believe.Staying afloat, ahead of others and achieving success takes more than pure intellect. It is a combination of intelligence, spunk, and some very human sensitivity towards your fellow colleagues. In short, the wise and the smart survive longer and usually stay ahead of the purely intelligent and the simply honest comrade.

There's just one term for it- emotional intelligence. The emotional quotient of a person indicates the individual's emotional stability, perceptiveness, perseverance, ability to adapt and openness to suggestions. A manager with a high EQ can prove to be a natural at managing people and there is no deterrent to acquire the same.

A master plan to set difficult relationships at the workplace, on an even keel

Though, not everyone is gifted with excellent people skills, yet it is all really about marshalling your emotional responses, knowing instinctively and how to do it.

Colours of the wind

Understanding interpersonal relationships is an important aspect of emotional intelligence. It is all about empathising and sympathising with your colleagues, understanding how they work, what motivates them and how to work co-operatively with them. A stray incident, a misunderstanding, or a miscommunication can cause problems. Sometimes the problem could just be the person himself. Assessing his level of self- awareness, social skills, ability to cope etc will help you handle the situation adeptly.

What lies within

The emotionally well-balanced individual is capable of nurturing relationships and has the ability to resolve conflicts. The solution to the problem could involve altering your responses to the problematic person.

I'm ok, you're ok

Undertake an exercise in self-analysis. Befriend yourself anew and recognise the grey areas in your emotional responses to the particular person or situation. Inadvertently, you may be the cause of the issue. A brief soul-search may be in order.

Muse awhile

Check yourself before responding to a conflicting situation or an antagonistic person. Take a few deep breaths before responding and react positively even to negative insinuations. Consider a negative response as constructive criticism. If the unsavoury state of affairs is the result of an external situation, change lies within your reach.

An intellectual impersonation

Sometimes putting yourself in the other person's shoes can make a lot of difference. The new perspective can present the problem in an entirely different light. The person may not have intended the negative tone and may not be aware of the impact it has had on you.

Winning tactics

Listen intently, express your opinions and feelings, inviting and involving the person in resolving the problem. Ask open-ended questions and clear your doubts immediately without letting the issue hibernate and snowball into a puzzling setback.

Playing the diplomat

Instead of adopting either an aggressive or a defensive stance work towards developing an impersonal attitude towards the person. Before solving the problem, explain your motives and opinions, thus clarifying the issue before it becomes irksome.

Plan of action

If everything else fails, you can model an 'ideal' behaviour to the person with whom you have the misunderstanding. Having an optimistic goal as a probable outcome can lend the issue a positive air. Implement the plan at an appropriate time, which can set the person thinking about it. Consider the effectiveness of the plan by periodically checking on the resultant effects of the same or by maintaining a journal noting the changes.

To do or not to do

Emotional stress can result in physical ailments and due care must be taken not let it precipitate into a desperate situation. Opting for a different task profile or job profile can defuse the problem. Or look out for a suitable alternative opening elsewhere. When the situation reaches a breaking point, it's a fight or flight reaction.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to be constantly self- motivated, to bounce back despite the odds and stay balanced. Studies have shown that people with a relative low IQ have had far greater successes than those with a higher IQ, a reason why emotional intelligence is the 'in' thing. It's creativity at work here, emotional ingenuity that can win the individual many a battle in life. Academic brilliance cannot always salvage someone's emotional life lying in a limbo.

SAMYUKTA KODA

samyukta.hyd@careercommunity.co.in