From minus to plus
THOUGH few pessimists would agree, pessimism, contrary to common sense and popular notion, is a good thing. In the long run it pays rich although disbelieving dividends. First, there is the unnecessary hassle of expecting and anticipating success - pessimists labour from no such delusion and feel vindicated in the end when nothing happens. Life to them is a series of gratifying disappointments. To a pessimist there are few catch-phrases as popular as `I told you so'. Secondly, many pessimists suffer from stress-related disorders and have a significantly shortened lifespan (one must not make the mistake of calling it life expectancy). Now, this would normally be a bad thing but for the fact that it allows wise relatives and alert friends to get rich on life insurance policies.
And finally, as icing on the cake, pessimists save a lot of money on parties. How? By not giving any. Simply for the reason that they do not have very many friends to give parties to. And there is an even better reason why, but that is another story.
Much has been written about how you should deal with negative co-workers with little thought to how that negative co-worker should deal with the pain of being a negative co-worker.
It is primarily because of the widely held view that negative people are negative because they do not want to change and an even more popular belief that it would be insane to try and help them. This article, however, due to a combination of overwhelming optimism and ample time to kill, intends to do exactly that.
So, if you are a negative co-worker, how do you rehabilitate yourself? The first thing to do, of course, is to find out if you are in need of correction. As a thumb rule, you are a negative co-worker if:
Many people have told you that you are.
You tend to greet every new idea/proposal with a cynical smirk.
You relish telling people why such and such a thing will not work and then when such and such a thing does not work, you delight in telling them `I told you so'.
You see a glass half empty. If somebody hands you a rose you check for thorns before throwing the rose away for being a show of cheap affection.
Your colleagues tend to avoid you as much as they can.
You, for your part, avoid your colleagues as much as you can.
There are two possible outcomes if this state of affairs continues to continue: a. Your bosses will realise what a drain you are on their resources and ask you to leave; b. Nothing. Of the two, the latter is the most dangerous. Because you will never know what is going wrong.
So, before it comes to that, there is one thing you could do: change. Quickly. The most important battle is the battle of resolution. You must want to change. As long as you have managed that, the rest is fairly easy. Try this:
Find something positive in every problem that comes your way: This could be hard especially on days when you set out for work an hour early, get caught in a traffic jam, arrive at work to find your parking spot taken, your boss in a foul mood and your presentation missing from where you had left it the day before. But try anyway.
Say something positive about every idea that is thrown your way: Even if you disagree with it, do it positively. And then after you have positively disagreed with it, say something on the lines of: `I think it is a great idea but wouldn't it be better if... " And take it from there.
Do everything you do with suitable amounts of zest: Suitable here means appropriate. Do not overdo it. The key here is to attempt to find something you like in everything you do. Bring the passion back, so as to speak.
And lastly, be cheerful. Don't worry; be happy, as Bob McFerrin said. Again, it is something excruciatingly hard to do if you have spent a major portion of your life being the gloomy outcast of the group, but as they say try and try and you will succeed. What they do not say is that actually there is a 50 percent chance that you will fail, but considering that you have so little to lose, you might as well try anyway.
PETER THUTURI
faqs@cnkonline.com
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