Features: Magazine | Literary Review | Life | Metro Plus | Open Page | Education Plus | Book Review | Business | SciTech | Friday Review | Young World | Property Plus | Quest | Folio |

Are virtual friends for real?

Supportive talk on the web may or may not be sincerely offered

SOUL SEARCH Do you shed inhibitions while sharing thoughts with online friends?

Philosopher Gabriel Marcel (1969) gave intimacy a definition using poetic expression:

"Even if I cannot see you, if I cannot touch you, I feel that you are with me."

With each passing day, millions are turning to the Internet to make friends, making use of instant messaging and chat options. What are the consequences of these rapid media developments on the social involvement and personal well being of people?

So, what is the truth? Does spending time on the Internet actually make people feel lonelier or more accessible? Kishore Trivedee, a London-based techie feels that the technology itself is neutral. Whether it is good or bad depends on how the technology is used. The day can fly by very quickly when you spend time on the Internet, whether you are looking for information, or visiting a chat room.

"Using the Internet, you can easily find people who share the same obscure interests and inclinations you may have, such as collecting antiques, exploring unusual hobbies, or learning new cultures", says P Derrick, a senior diplomat.

The Internet is breaking cultural, language and religious barriers. "You can find another person who is struggling with an illness or problem similar to yours, and who understands exactly what you are going through", says R P Tilak, a pilot.

The vastness and the speed of the Internet lets you hook up instantly with people on the other side of the world and have lengthy conversations on intimate matters you have never discussed with anyone else.

Who doesn't love the Internet that offers this great heterogeneous culture of tastes, where everything goes, almost nothing is forbidden because someone, somewhere, is interested in what we feel, think, say or admire or hate?

The anonymity of the Internet can be a double-edged sword. You can feel safe revealing your innermost self to a total stranger because he lives 5,000 miles away and you will probably never meet him.

Your online friends may find it easy to offer you support and encouragement because they will never have to back up their typed words with any real action or commitment. Talk is cheap, and supportive talk on the Internet may or may not be sincerely offered.

It's true that some relationships that start off on the Internet will develop into long term on-line friendships that last decades, even if the two correspondents never meet in person. And in some cases, these on-line relationships will also successfully transform into friendships in the offline world. On the flipside, you don't have someone put their hand on yours as you exchange confidences, courtesies and niceties. You don't even know that your Internet friend is really who he claims he is!

Although the web is a unique, ubiquitous and useful means of communication, do not always use it as a substitute for live social contact. The medium should not be an excuse to avoid some of the more difficult, yet ultimately rewarding task of developing relationships with people you already have around you.

LASYA VEMPARLA

Printer friendly page  
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail