Features: Magazine | Literary Review | Life | Metro Plus | Open Page | Education Plus | Book Review | Business | SciTech | Friday Review | Cinema Plus | Young World | Property Plus | Quest | Folio |

BAD AT SMALL TALK Intruders are better at expressing their thoughts and feelings in writing

Well… almost everyone. While that may be what a lot of people would like, there are quite a few out there who would like nothing better than to blend in and become lost in the ocean of mediocrity surrounding humankind. They call this breed introverts, and they, myself included, get a very raw deal indeed.

Let’s face it… nobody likes introverts. How long will it take people to figure out that they are just “wired” differently?

It is quite normal to be an introvert; indeed, it is assumed that nearly a quarter of the world’s population is so. But humans, being what they are, regard any majority as “normal” and the minority as “different”. The result is that introverts are always labelled with narrow, unflattering words such as “snob” or “loner”, which immediately suggest smallness of personality.

Parties? They generally count themselves out of the noise and banality. Companionship? Except for a few close friends, introverts are no social butterflies; and they’re especially bad at small talk and don’t want to reduce a conversation to the least common denominator to involve everybody. Introverts constantly feel like intruders on someone else’s privacy; instead, they are able to express themselves a lot better in writing than in speech.

In other words, introverts are the metaphorical square peg in a round hole.

Extroverts, on the other hand, have got it made. They’re labelled with the words “sociable” and “outgoing”, and, in a world where showing-off is an asset than a liability, they have an undeniable head start in life.

Extroverts can manipulate and convince people better than the Imperious Charm, gaining people’s confidence and friendship with absurd ease. In our society, a talkative person is by default a friendly person. Unless, of course, that person happens to be a telemarketing executive.

It’s not that introverts dislike people. But for a society that puts its weight behind extroverts, people with a lean towards introversion don’t make an envious picture.

Right from the days of school, introverts find themselves on the wrong end of everything. Their idea of a good time – a few hours of quiet reading, for example, is termed “geeky”; almost a sure fire way of getting yourself banned from a clique of friends. They end up taking refuge in sarcasm, a way to give back to the world what it had given to them – not the most endearing of qualities.

For no fault of their own, fingers are always pointed at them; that they are responsible for their own loneliness. However, putting on a plastic smile and a fake laugh is worse… it leads to low self-esteem, depression and an identity crisis. Just doesn’t work that way. Trying to force their company on people for a day out doesn’t work either. It’s just not worth listening to those suppressed sniggers and the ‘I-am-searching-for-an-excuse-so-give-me-some-time’ voices.

But it’s not all that bad. Introverts are valued for their listening ability, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, you needn’t look any further. They might not be deliciously instinctive, but you must give them points for being meticulously methodical.

So all those introverts reading this, here’s what you can do to make life a little easier and throw away that loner tag. If speaking out is your problem, try to do so in front of a mirror first, before you take on the living variety. If actions speak louder than words, then giving an unexpected gift to a prospective friend is a sure shot way of breaking the ice. And tell you what – Smile. True, the trusty “talk-about-the-weather” technique is also a winning formula, but a smile can work wonders.

All easier said that done – I’m still struggling with the mirror part.

As for you extroverts… two words – Keep Quiet.

FAIZAN HASEEB

Printer friendly page  
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail

---

---