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When play becomes a chore
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Children now have their days packed with gazillion activities. A balance needs to be struck, warns NANDHINI SUNDAR, else the result would be early burnout, acute stress and even depression
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Photo: Ch. Vijaya Bhaskar
Sky’s the limit So much to do and only so many hours in a day
“She complains every time I take her to the dance class, but I can’t let her stop, she is talented and doing so well. Her master is very happy with her progress”, says Neeta, mother of nine year old Tanya. While Neeta wants her to learn dance, Tanya would rather play soccer with her brother and the children in her apartment complex.
Probably Neeta feels justified in pushing her daughter into learning dance as it is the only activity she indulges in and besides having the talent, it is only twice a week. But how many children can say their out-of-school activities are limited to one or two and does not rob them of free play? Given the current scenario, with acute competition in all fronts, perhaps not too many.
So, how much is too much? Universities look for students who are well rounded, balancing academics with sports, music, art or anything that the child has a talent for. Child psychologists too reiterate the need to balance school curriculum with activities that fall outside the purview of school to aid in a child’s overall development.
Unfortunately, overzealous parents and sometimes overenthusiastic children can overdo this, packing into a week more than what can be physically as well as emotionally handled.
The consequence is early burn out, acute stress and sometimes even depression in the children. This manifests as anxiety, irritation, defiance, sleep and eating disorders. Invariably the casualty of this consequence is academic performance which suffers thanks to over exertion as well as lack of time.
Says Dr. Ali Khwaja of Banjara Academy, “Activities are no more taken up for enjoyment or fun. They have become goal oriented with parents focusing on the child becoming a champion. This puts pressure on the child and negates the very purpose of an activity. At times, a child can even be pushed into an activity because it is considered best for him irrespective of whether he has the desire for it not.” While stressing the need to allow the child to choose the activities he wants, Dr. Khwaja cautions against overloading with too many. “If it is going to be a race against the clock, taking the child from school to tuition to activities, the stress is bound to show on the child and this can manifest in various ways.”
Says Dr. Bindu Hari, Director, The International School Bangalore, “Parents tend to look at it as an opportunity provided for their children and invariably this stems from their own unfulfilled dreams. At times, these activities can also become a convenience factor rather than something the child wants. The convenience could be in the form of a certain activity centre being easily accessible or the activity time coinciding with work timings in which case the parents feel the child is safely occupied while they are at work.”She further adds parents tend to push their children into contests that can involve public performance where the pressure of succeeding can be immense. Here, fear of failure can be acute and event of failure at times traumatic for the child.
Parent and Counsellor, Amita Bala thinks competition is fine if the child is able to handle it, “but it should not be the aspiration of the parent with the child showing minimal interest.” She stresses the importance of keeping communication lines open as “this would help the child to choose those activities she enjoys.” To avoid burning out, she insists on maintaining a balance between school work and activities and limiting the number of such activities to a realistic level.
Adds Dr. Bindu, “Though activities hone the skills of students and help them become well rounded, the importance of free play should not be undermined. Besides the social interaction, free play can be therapeutic for the child. Unfortunately with too many activities lined up, children have very little time for it.”
Sums up Pamela, teacher in an international school in the city, “Structured schedules do help a child but packing the week with too many activities can prove to be extremely stressful. These activities should be for enjoyment and to further a field of interest. They should not be goal oriented as this robs the very purpose of the activity.”
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